It had been almost a year since Amy and the twins, Taylor
and Tyler, had visited, and there’s a big difference between 6-month olds and
18-month olds. Now they can walk, dance, feed themselves, imitate the sounds
that animals make, identify body parts, talk mostly in nouns, communicate with
some sign language, and do the actions to Ten
Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed. They especially enjoy looking through their books
and being read to. (The twins and Amy stayed with us for a month. Bethany was with
us for a week.) But, back to the wedding.
Grandparents were invited to the wedding rehearsal held at a
lovely oak grove overlooking the pond of the Japan House at the University of
Illinois and to the rehearsal dinner at the Crystal Lake Boat House. Rather than having ushers, the parents and grandparents were to process to their seats before the
bridesmaids and bride made their way down the aisle. David’s mother and
stepfather were there, and I asked them to proceed up the aisle before us so
that for once I could feel that Bob and I had been honored/recognized at one of
these big family events. Bob’s ex-wife said in a threatening tone, “I’ll fight
you for it.” Her husband added something in a similar tone, and the “wedding
director” in her loud outdoor voice said, “Well, now we have our first brou-ha-ha.”
Bob didn’t say a word but jerked me up
the aisle while I had tears rolling down my face. Such is the fate of a
stepmother. It is fair to say that I was shocked and unprepared. I also couldn’t
believe that I had become the drama maker. (Bob and I have always felt very
close to Jeremiah and Betsy and have enjoyed every minute we’ve been with them –
as we continue to do. I know they didn’t intentionally want to hurt me.) Worst
of all, the drama wasn’t over.
After some appetizers, a delicious barbecue buffet greeted us at the rehearsal
dinner. Bob and I were sitting at one of the tables on the patio and who should
walk up with their plates but Bob’s ex and her husband. She asked if they could
join us. Again, I was shocked, in disbelief, and couldn’t understand why she
couldn’t just leave us alone. I started to get up and remove myself from the
situation but then decided to stand my ground (a la I’m not going to take it
anymore) and said, “No,” and indicated that there wasn’t really any reason
for us to talk during the rest of the event. (Needless to say, there is a whole
history of more than thirty years to all of this.) Without my knowledge or
consent, the next day Bob apologized to them for my behavior. The rest of the
drama and revisionist history was carried out behind my back. Thankfully the wedding and reception
were magical, and I’m thrilled that Jeremiah and Betsy are husband and wife.
They are made for each other, this couple that was King and Queen of the Uni
High prom their senior year. Less than a month later (on July 12th) we
were attending another wedding in another place with a totally different type
of drama.
It was hard to believe that Maggie, the oldest daughter of
dear friends, was getting married - why I remember the first time I saw her just
days after her birth! Cindy had generously shared wedding plans with me, and I
had looked forward to this little getaway to Chicago for a long time. Indeed, it
was a lovely service at a beautiful Catholic church. The bride and her mother
were radiant. The father-of-the-bride proudly escorted his daughter to the
altar; I didn’t see a tear. The young children, all darling of course, made it
down the aisle without incident. The kiss and proclamation sealed it all.
We had several hours before the start of the reception and
were relaxing in our room at the Union League Club when I turned my cell phone
back on and found a text message from Amy. It said something like, “I have a
little medical question. Please call.” I handed the phone to Bob. She answered
and said to her dad, “Are you sitting down?”
