Life in a bubble

 It’s a milestone we’d been anticipating - on January 2nd, Bob reached +100 days since transplant. Originally we thought we’d begin living a more social life after that time, but instead we’re still living in the bubble for a couple of reasons.  First, we find ourselves in the middle of flu season, and second, Bob hasn’t been able to start his “baby shots” to begin rebuilding his immunity. The good news is that to date neither of us has become ill.

Bob’s progress has been subtle, and sometimes it’s difficult to recognize, but I just need to remember the days soon after we returned home, and I can see how much better he is. He is less fatigued but still enjoys a good nap some days. His walking is steadier even though he hasn’t experienced much change in the painful neuropathy he suffers in his legs and feet. (The neurologist expects this to resolve but couldn’t give Bob a possible timeline.) He never lost all of his hair, but when it began looking mangy, I trimmed it to a fairly uneven ¼-inch. This past week, I actually gave him a haircut. Yes, things are definitely better.

Our lives have really been quiet this winter. For the most part the only people who stop by are neighbors and local family, all healthy! Bob’s neuropathy is best in the morning and increases as the day goes on. Before or after dinner, he climbs into bed to get his legs elevated. We have spent a lot of time in our bedroom watching films and BBC TV series on Netflix and Hulu. How we continue to miss our Zoe who so loved to be with us in the “big bed.” When Bob rests, I stay by his side reading books and magazines. He doesn’t need me there, but I want to be with him and know that if circumstances were reversed, I would be lonely if he wasn’t with me. We have a good time whenever we’re together, and this has been no different. One disappointment has been the little opportunity and energy we've had to maintain our relationships with family and friends. Visits and even phone calls have been exhausting to Bob. I haven't lunched with friends or shopped in an attempt to stay healthy. I didn't even make it to the mall during the holiday season. Also, the To Do List has increased to three notebook pages. I try to not let it bother me, but I still feel guilty if I don’t achieve something each day - guilt is a close friend of mine.

We’ve been on our own deserted island this fall and winter and are looking forward to more “normal” times ahead. We're thankful for Bob's continued progress and the thoughts and prayers of so many.

The polar vortex and bone marrow

 

We had plans to watch the BCS National Championship Bowl on a television in a nice room at the Four Seasons in St. Louis, a special treat Bob planned for us. On the following day he was having a bone marrow biopsy and blood tests done at Barnes to determine the efficacy of his transplant, or in other words, just how good a job did those Keebler Elves do? The weather interfered, as it has so often this winter. St. Louis received 12" of snow, and we had just a few inches less. Then the wind and cold set in. So, we stayed curled up by the fire, and the tests have just been rescheduled locally for January 28th.

Letter from the Birmingham Jail

I would encourage everyone to read King's Letter from the Birmingham Jail. You can find it easily with your search engine, and you can also find various analyses. 

The Letter was written on April 16, 1963. I was 11 years old and in the sixth grade at Bottenfield Elementary School. I don't remember my neighborhood school having any Afro-American students. I don't remember my rather inept teacher talking about national events, nor do I remember my parents talking about them either. I hadn't packed up my baby dolls, stopped playing school, or started wearing make-up. I was still innocent and naive. That would change.

Everyone one of us deserves freedom and justice, and it is our responsibility to act when we see our sisters and brothers in chains and treated unfairly.  Robert Kennedy said:

      Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events. It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

  May you have eyes to see and ears to hear.

Letter from the Birmingham Jail - Martin Luther King, Jr.   

Quotes

“Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.” (Amos 5:24)

 

“We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.” 

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” 

“So I have tried to make it clear that it is wrong to use immoral means to attain moral ends. But now I must affirm that it is just as wrong, or even more so, to use moral means to preserve immoral ends. ”

“The early Christians rejoiced when they were deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the Church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles o popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society.”

“Wherever the early Christians entered a town the power structure got disturbed and immediately sought to convict them for being 'disturbers of the peace' and 'outside agitators.' But they went on with the conviction that they were a 'colony of heaven' and had to obey God rather than man. They were small in number but big in commitment. They were too God-intoxicated to be 'astronomically intimidated.' They brought an end to such ancient evils as infanticide and gladiatorial contest. Things are different now. The contemporary Church is so often a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound. It is so often the archsupporter of the status quo. Far from being disturbed by the presence of the Church, the power structure of the average community is consoled by the Church’s silent and often vocal sanction of things as they are.” 

“Just as Socrates felt that it was necessary to create a tension in the mind so that individuals could rise from the bondage of myths and half-truths to the unfettered realm of creative analysis and objective appraisal, so must we see the need for nonviolent gadflies to create the kind of tension in society that will help men rise from the dark depths of prejudice and racism to majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood.” 

“One has not only a legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.”  

“I have consistently preached that nonviolence demands that the means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek. I have tried to make clear that it is wrong to use immoral means to attain moral ends. But now I must affirm that it is just as wrong, or perhaps even more so, to use moral means to preserve immoral ends.” 

“Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear-drenched communities, and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty.”
 

Epiphany

Today marks Epiphany. I've always wanted to find a way to celebrate the twelve days after Christmas but have not been successful. However, this year I at least saved two packages to open today - one from my "Identical Best Friend" and the other from one of my YaYa "Sisters." What child-like joy I felt opening the packing boxes (one even sealed with peace-sign tape) to reveal the gifts inside, and oh, what delightful gifts they were. Thank you for the surprises and the love.

2014

For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
           
           ~T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"