Hide my smile?

Not smile?  All of my life I’ve been programmed to smile.  It visually demonstrates my Midwestern friendliness.  Why I even get health benefits from smiling.  A frown turned upside down can relieve my stress, release endorphins, and boost my immune system while lowering my blood pressure. But when in France, I must not smile.

Smiling at strangers or customers is not part of the French culture.  There isn’t even a French word for “friendly.”  French people do not smile without a reason.  No crinkling eyes and upturned corners of the mouth for them,  instead, it is a funereal expression that is painted on French faces.  It’s a bit daunting when interacting with them, almost harder to not see a smile on the person in front of you than to not smile yourself.

Another thing.  The French don’t admit mistakes.  It’s culturally unacceptable.  Odile Challe, Professor of Organizational Behavior at the University of Paris-Dauphine, says that, “One does not have the right to make a mistake in France.” [translated]  It’s all a matter of saving face and appearing strong.  In dire circumstances, one might admit to an erreur but never a faute.

I think Americans often feel like we’re the center of the universe, and everyone does everything exactly the way we do.  One of the joys of traveling is finding out that it’s not true.  Another of the joys is trying to assimilate into a different culture.  It’s not always easy, but my heart leaps each time I’m addressed in French and not English.:-)

To understand more of the cultural differences between the French and the Americans, you can turn to the book French or Foe? by Polly Platt.  My thanks to Paula for the gift of the book and also to a French cultural ambassador who tried to explain some of the differences to us.